Oneiroi [epilogue]

[mclachland]

prologue | one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | epilogue


There is a tree on a sun-soaked hill, an elm with resigned branches that births globules of light and thought, heavy fruit sprouting wings. They tear from the boughs and fly away, leaving the sad elm, never to return and never missed. More blossom in their place almost immediately.

He studies it -- this well-oiled machine -- and is so engrossed in the process that he does not hear the heavy footsteps in the grass behind him.

"It was the first of my dreams," Dean says, coming to stand beside Cas. He shoves his hands into his pockets and looks up at the tree with a critical eye -- usually reserved for the Impala or a piece of pie. Except this is not Dean. "I wanted an extension of me, a piece to do my work should I find myself far away. A part of me, a dream that dreams."

"It is magnificent," Cas admits, watching the process with awe. The fruit, the creatures he has come to know and fear and understand, pull away and drift into the sky. The oneiroi will find the minds of the inhabitants of some world out there, whether it is Earth or a place that does not know of angels and humans and a failed deity's kingdom. He tracks them until they leave his sight.

Dean rocks on his heels and then gazes out into the fields, sunlight reflected back in his eyes, his skin, and Cas is not sure how he could have ever thought this poorly-made copy was Dean Winchester. "It will not be long. A blip. A blink. A breath, and then you will finally be here, my Castiel, dreaming of me."

At the bottom of the hill, the tall grasses rustle and part, and Cas cannot contain the smile that blossoms across his face.

"Cas!"

He shakes his head, still smiling. "You're mistaken. It's true that someday I will be here. I will dream for you, perhaps even with you, but… I will never dream of you."

His words are final, and he leaves Morpheus on the hill to wait for the end of this blip, blink, breath.

Running down the gilded slope to join Dean, Cas holds him careful and close, swallowing his laughter and pulling him back into the grass, into gold, until they disappear.


“As I lay me down to sleep, this I pray:
that you will hold me dear.
Though I'm far away I whisper your name into the sky,
and I will wake up happy.”

End.


Notes:

So, I guess when I said that "Named" was my first and last Big Bang story, I lied. "Oneiroi" was a long time in coming, actually, having first been an original screenplay about a girl who goes into Demos Oneiroi to rescue the kid she's in love with. In 2009, I was gearing up to seriously give thought to shopping it around when I heard that Christopher Nolan was making a movie about dreams. I ended up shelving it, because who would ever contend with Christ Nolan (even if our plots were completely and utterly different)? I ended up using it for my DCBB mostly because I had only a month to write it and I could come up with nothing else.

Writing from Castiel's POV was the hardest thing about it and I probably (re: definitely) will never do that again.

I'm glad I wrote it, but I'm fucking stoked it's over. On to new things!


Thanks:

I would be completely in the wrong if I didn't thank the people who yelled/cajoled/threatened/bribed/sat up until the wee hours of the morning with/loved me throughout June and July.

First and foremost, thanks to my betas peroxidepest17 and nanoochka for pretty much carrying me through the writing process. I'm sure they were ready to murder me in cold blood if I were to say "OH GOD I CAN'T DO THIS" one more time, and no jury would convict them. Between the late night chats, treating them like my own personal sounding board, and bothering them around 2am and pleading for reassurance, I honestly couldn't have done it without them. Thank you so very much. I owe you girls everything -- and by everything, I mean most if not all of my viable, transplantable organs. I love you both.

Thanks to miki_moo, my fabulous artist, for her wonderful work! She is one of the sweetest, most enthusiastic people I've ever had the privilege of working with. She did a great job -- EVERYONE GO CHECK OUT HER ART!

Thanks to timetravel, staraflur, nightanddaze, alexwhitman25, and everyone else who cheerleaded/kicked my ass.

And, of course, as always: thanks to tigbit for being there. <3

Comments

[zatnikatel.livejournal.com]

Wow: what could be better than a really imaginative tale that mixes adventure and genuine emotion, and is wonderfully told? I loved every single word of this, doll: the way you weave myth into your fiction is so clever, because it lends your fic real authenticity. I'm trying to figure out what it reminds me of in tone, and the nearest I can come up with is a sort of cross between Megan Lindholm's Windsinger novels and the movie Jumanji: this fic is imbued all through with a similarly enthralling sense of magic, mystery, danger and surrealism: all the time I was wondering what would come next.

I love your Cas… I struggled with writing Cas POV too in Something Stupid but I think you've gotten a real handle on the stoicism, devotion and loyalty that are the basis for his humanity. The Cas I've seen on the show is so very much the Cas who would give up his Grace again for Dean in this story, even if it dooms him to return to Morpheus (and you better damn well be writing a sequel where they find a loophole!). I loved how Dean came to realize how much Castiel cares about him (it was really only at the end of the fic that I realized Dean hadn't actually been in it very much, but he's ever-present because he's so clearly ever-present to Cas) – it means so much more after 6.22-7.02. So damn bittersweet to have Cas realizing his "future" with Dean was also an illusion.

Just so damn well done, sweetness, really. ♥♥♥♥♥

[mclachlan.livejournal.com]

For the longest time, your Castiel from Something Stupid was how I imagined him. He was so uncertain and bad ass and QUOTING AWESOME MOVIES, and I began questioning my own interpretation of Castiel because it was conflicting with yours. I was starting to make myself a little crazy and decided to go with a more formal, lyrical version, because there was no way I'd ever make him as amazing as yours.

ANYWAY.

I'm so happy you enjoyed the story. Your comments and compliments make all the tears and sleepless nights totally worth it. Thank you so very much. NOW ONTO YOUR DCBB! <3333

[zatnikatel.livejournal.com]

Wow, that's pretty amazing to hear! That is very much how I see Cas: he has that uncertainty and world-weariness and almost an emotional detachment about him – but all threaded through with poise and confidence, and general badassery, and his obvious love for Dean. I think he is hard to write well because he is such an enigma. Edlund made the comparison with Asperger's/high-functioning autism, and he does have that feel to him. I wonder if that's why Edlund inserted the man with autism into Castiel's Heaven?

Your version reads a true to my own headcanon version of Cas as I've ever read!