Oneiroi [epilogue]

[mclachland]

prologue | one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | epilogue


There is a tree on a sun-soaked hill, an elm with resigned branches that births globules of light and thought, heavy fruit sprouting wings. They tear from the boughs and fly away, leaving the sad elm, never to return and never missed. More blossom in their place almost immediately.

He studies it -- this well-oiled machine -- and is so engrossed in the process that he does not hear the heavy footsteps in the grass behind him.

"It was the first of my dreams," Dean says, coming to stand beside Cas. He shoves his hands into his pockets and looks up at the tree with a critical eye -- usually reserved for the Impala or a piece of pie. Except this is not Dean. "I wanted an extension of me, a piece to do my work should I find myself far away. A part of me, a dream that dreams."

"It is magnificent," Cas admits, watching the process with awe. The fruit, the creatures he has come to know and fear and understand, pull away and drift into the sky. The oneiroi will find the minds of the inhabitants of some world out there, whether it is Earth or a place that does not know of angels and humans and a failed deity's kingdom. He tracks them until they leave his sight.

Dean rocks on his heels and then gazes out into the fields, sunlight reflected back in his eyes, his skin, and Cas is not sure how he could have ever thought this poorly-made copy was Dean Winchester. "It will not be long. A blip. A blink. A breath, and then you will finally be here, my Castiel, dreaming of me."

At the bottom of the hill, the tall grasses rustle and part, and Cas cannot contain the smile that blossoms across his face.

"Cas!"

He shakes his head, still smiling. "You're mistaken. It's true that someday I will be here. I will dream for you, perhaps even with you, but… I will never dream of you."

His words are final, and he leaves Morpheus on the hill to wait for the end of this blip, blink, breath.

Running down the gilded slope to join Dean, Cas holds him careful and close, swallowing his laughter and pulling him back into the grass, into gold, until they disappear.


“As I lay me down to sleep, this I pray:
that you will hold me dear.
Though I'm far away I whisper your name into the sky,
and I will wake up happy.”

End.


Notes:

So, I guess when I said that "Named" was my first and last Big Bang story, I lied. "Oneiroi" was a long time in coming, actually, having first been an original screenplay about a girl who goes into Demos Oneiroi to rescue the kid she's in love with. In 2009, I was gearing up to seriously give thought to shopping it around when I heard that Christopher Nolan was making a movie about dreams. I ended up shelving it, because who would ever contend with Christ Nolan (even if our plots were completely and utterly different)? I ended up using it for my DCBB mostly because I had only a month to write it and I could come up with nothing else.

Writing from Castiel's POV was the hardest thing about it and I probably (re: definitely) will never do that again.

I'm glad I wrote it, but I'm fucking stoked it's over. On to new things!


Thanks:

I would be completely in the wrong if I didn't thank the people who yelled/cajoled/threatened/bribed/sat up until the wee hours of the morning with/loved me throughout June and July.

First and foremost, thanks to my betas peroxidepest17 and nanoochka for pretty much carrying me through the writing process. I'm sure they were ready to murder me in cold blood if I were to say "OH GOD I CAN'T DO THIS" one more time, and no jury would convict them. Between the late night chats, treating them like my own personal sounding board, and bothering them around 2am and pleading for reassurance, I honestly couldn't have done it without them. Thank you so very much. I owe you girls everything -- and by everything, I mean most if not all of my viable, transplantable organs. I love you both.

Thanks to miki_moo, my fabulous artist, for her wonderful work! She is one of the sweetest, most enthusiastic people I've ever had the privilege of working with. She did a great job -- EVERYONE GO CHECK OUT HER ART!

Thanks to timetravel, staraflur, nightanddaze, alexwhitman25, and everyone else who cheerleaded/kicked my ass.

And, of course, as always: thanks to tigbit for being there. <3

Comments

[clay-roses.livejournal.com]

You know how sometimes you'll come across a story, or a movie, or a song that makes you want to shout my god, or eureka, or what is this I don't even---!, or some such other noise of discovery and revelation? A story that makes you want to pick up a pen and just start writing, because damn, it was that good that you can't help but feel inspired... But yet at the same time makes you want to burn all of your notebooks and pens in a fit of depressive rage because you know you'll never touch upon something so wonderful yourself?

Oneiroi for me is one of those stories.

I downloaded the PDF a few days ago and only had time to start reading it this morning, but ended up demolishing it in an hour. There was a sort of breathless suspension to all the action. Points in the action where the outcome was certain (I'm thinking particularly of when Castiel thought they'd chosen the wrong door, but in reality they'd picked the exact right one) you infused the story with this...tension, not necessarily propelled by 'what's going to happen next' so much as 'how will the characters react to what is coming next' and you gave them organic feeling, honest reactions and emotions, fleshed out and creatively turned. That to me is truly fantastic. Even though I knew what was going to happen (well, not details, obviously, but the basics, because in a quest story the quest must continue until the end, yes?) I was still enthralled and involved. It all felt familiar and yet odd, just like a dream itself.

This story made me laugh (Sam and dinosaurs! All the men in dream-niece-Mary's life thinking of ways to bury her boyfriend!), gasp (Castiel, easy as breathing, deciding to give his Grace for Dean, acting as though of course, what else would I do?) and cry--actual, tears streaming down my face, runny nose cry. There is so much I could/want to say in praise, so many small details and concepts you introduced and played with and mythology you involved that I would love to point and squeal over in my comment, but the ending--oh my god, the ending!

It's beautiful and bittersweet and we don't get confirmation that Castiel is ever really with Dean in "real life" until that small turn of phrase in the epilogue--Dean going to Castiel by the tree, and calling him "Cas", Castiel going to meet him and showing that Dean is there in the dream with him, showing that Morpheus kept his word and Dean is truly allowed to go wherever he wants, and where he wants is to be with Cas, and Cas with him...broke me, in the best possible way. Just...I love this story, and I am now going to devour everything else you've written that I can clap my eyes on.

[mclachlan.livejournal.com]

Oh my goodness. I was in tears by the time I got to the end of the first paragraph and am full-out bawling now that I've reached the end of your comment. Thank you so very, very much, both for reading and for your wonderful words.

I need to find a tissue. Or possibly buy stock in Kleenex.

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